I just found a Chris Hansen soundboard online, care to guess what I'll be doing all day?
every time i wear that dress i get kicked out of a bar.
Ate apple sauce off his penis. Nutritious and slutty.
If you're still on campus there's a jack and coke in the bathroom of fondren science Bldg. Too strong to bring to class.
Nypd just made jon and hayes chug their forties.
the question is "speedos?" and the answer is "yes".
I'm promoting my liver to CEO of my body cause it clearly works harder than anything else.
Just smoked a joint with the hottest patient. God I love night shifts.
I really couldn't care less what she looks like. That's why The Lord Our God gave us doggy-style.
Hey! How are you feeling? Still preferring soup over sex?
IS NO AN EMOTION BECAUSE THAT'S WHAT I'M FEELING RIGHT NOW
For future reference, when he drunkenly screams "YOUR MOTHER SUCKS COCKS IN HELL," he means that he's about to throw up. Invest in a bucket.
He showed up with a hearse full of beer and is currently shooting pumpkins with a flare gun. Who gives a shit if he's a furry. We need to party with him more often.
I just watched a magician wearing a fedora deep throat a balloon\n
Yeah, let's go with that. Fuck that weak moment of complete honesty I just had.
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