I thought you said his peep was too small
it is but i have no money and nothing is on tv until 7 when americas next top model comes on.
i mean you're really good at taking the morning after pill...so you could put that on your resume..
yeah, i think fast in a bad sitatuion and am able to react with appropriate measures
I'm buying this stripper a house, I don't care what her name is.
Wow, So this kid just walked into class, yak'd on his lab partner then runs out. Class is now cancelled. I gotta find this kid and Thank him.
Just used the salt in the bottom of my mcdonalds bag from last night on the eggs i made this morning. Way too hungover for this
Not complaining, but why is there a Russian chick downstairs making latkes?
How was your 8:30 class today?
Non existent. I just threw up in my water bottle on the bus.
Your girlfriend is in jail- I've just never been able to use that in a sentence before. Thank you both!
I found a lucrative side business - giving rides home to drunk oil executives. Very profitable.
Really? Uh ohh sounds like a double date with extra stripper funnnn
I dont think ive ever had a drunk day betray me so hard before
Summer bikini season begins today. I hereby declare the commencement of the 2013 HUNT FOR CUNT.
He told me that he'd ride his snowmobile from Cincinnati to Toledo in this blizzard just so I could give him head.
Apparently I repeatedly thanked the paramedic for saving the "happy new year" beads i was wearing. that bad.
My brain is a dvd screensaver and I'm allowed to have a good thought when it hits the corner
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