My Higher Power is John Stamos
I told him I had my daily dose of vitamin c so i wouldn't blow him
are we at that level where i can tell you your girlfriends tits looked really good yet?
He asked me to coffee and I had no choice but to be honest. So naturally I told him that sobriety and monogomy are not two of my strong suits.
He ripped off his shirt and tried to give me CPR. That damn bong.
At some point I'd like to figure out how the weird kid from sociology ended up on my couch naked hugging what appears to be some sort of clothing....seriously it's creeping me out
Oh my god. I just RAN OVER a child. Oh my god this isnt my day. That kid was cool as fuck though
I'm pretty sure we scarred one of our coworkers. This is the second time he has caught us both fully undressed and banging at work.
Either he has bad timing or he wants to join.
I feel like we need a drunken piñata bash with your face being the piñata and my hopes and dreams being the stick
I greatly enjoy being related to her. Even if is it only by a penis.
Bringing families together since 1987
She tackled him mid-puke while the other two were cutting up a $60 dildo with a kitchen knife and putting the pieces in a Corona bottle.
Come to my pity party. It's being hosted in my basement. The theme is ambiguously sexual cuddling and wine.
YOU CANT FOOL THE TOILET
She wouldn't eat a clam- if you blow a line pregnant you can eat a clam
I have filthy fantasies involving his tongue. My vagina almost exploded while he was licking that ice cream cone.
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