I just found out the FDA voted to ban Vicodin, my last connection to this world has been destroyed
Yes, you did come over last night. You also tried to give my dog a blowjob. You got rejected.
For some reason I have a hard time believing getting drunk and recreating a movie about singing transvestites is ever very far from a situation you're in.
My only objective is to get drunk enough to forget the last 364 days.
nothing like walking in the house at 3 am in my panties and a sheer shirt carrying a life sized cardboard dale earnhardt jr
I just made cupcakes.... Vodka icing. Results in the morning.
There should be an open time period where you show each other your goods and it's totally socially acceptable to bail.
I wholeheartedly concur
THEIR PENISES MATCH. I JUST REALISED THAT. THEY HAVE IDENTICAL DICKS. OH GOD.
What if there is no right person? Maybe it's just the right cat. Or the right 12 cats.
I showed my cat the amount of coke I had. She looked concerned.
Bourbon is too strong for my cat, he does not want to drink it
Just remember: We don't tell our English professor about our fetishes unless she specifically asks about them.
Do you have Pokemon Go yet? I just caught a Clefairy on my walk of shame and feel way better about myself.
Do you realize our room single-handedly hooked up with most of that wedding party last night?
Have I told you i love you?
there's no need we are two peas in a naughty pod of fuckery
Randomize
