Who did Billy Mays play for?
you said the mailboxes were turning into babies and they started crawling away. then you cried and asked me how you were gonna get your college acceptance letters
I just realized that all of my cardio comes from dancing on tables.
Just taught my suite how to queef. I feel like i'm back in 9th grade!
you jizzed all over me and yelled "makeover"
he had a TATTOO on his FACE. a tattoo on your face basically says "i've gone as far in society as i'd like to."
Whenever I said your name you screamed polo and did another shot.
then again I'm sitting on a tree stump completely naked in the dark listening to some type of glee soundtrack.
While you were puking in the ocean I was rubbing your back saying "Just give it back to Mother Earth".
oh awks just saw the head of medical staff who I punched the bottle of wine at
i'm about to tell me dad "sorry staying in isnt an option. i'm fucking a marine tonight."
When we do our power hour over Skype I'm just going to sit on the toilet so that way I won't have to get up in the middle of it and miss any shots
Rush week is fine, only the t-shirts are white and if it rains, the frat boys in their lawn chairs will be treated to 800 freshmen girls in their first wet tshirt contest.
Welcome to college.
The ideal thing to do next party is to tape my boobs down so they don't knock over the pong cups while playing defense. They came back to hurt us this time
Only I could get hit on by homophobic straight guys in a drag bar.
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