I'm not really sure how I got home, but judging by this headache, i'm assuming it involved bourbon.
I am the poster child for what not to do during sex. Soon they will be calling an undesired position after me
Preparing for wine wednesday. How would you feel about improvising and starting a white russian wednesday tomorrow instead? you know, shake things up a bit.
I'm considering telling her about my dream where I made a sex tape with her boyfriend. you know to test our friendship
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Need a travel agent to tell me which countries in Asia have legalized prostitution for New Year. Fireworks would be cool too.
thanks for leaving the note with the doctor's recommendations for my lip, they are dissolvable stitches right?
new plan: i think the keg will fit in my purse.
So I bought some random chick a shot she puked in her hands then I watched her make out with my roommate
It started with jello shots. It ended with tears.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
At one point last night I over heard you say " I'm gonna puke in a bag and pour it down your throat" I LOVE YOU.
Oh god I want to come home! They have an air raid siren here that alerts their neighbours across the desert it's time to come over on atvs and drink.
Did you take the bag w/your drugs & cookie cutter?
Just whatever you do, don't neglect the balls.
Had a very good bday. Have the teeth marks and bruises to prove it
I told my mom that I might be hungover today so she needs to make me an omelet.. it happened and I'm happy
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