If I ever start a band I'm gonna name it "Nancy Reagan's Vagina"
I really need to find better places to throw up. I would like to be able to use the bathroom sink the next morning for brushing my teeth
when the police officer said he was gonna take a picture of the car accident, you asked if you should pose on the hood
Either allow it in a formal toast or i will drunkenly tell your in-laws while i'm dancing on their table. either way, the truth is coming out
Clearly he doesn't understand my need to be surrounded by cats at all times
If you bring me a slurpee and advil I will eat you out for like an hour.
He offered to drive me out of state to meet up with my fuck buddy. Like best brother in law ever.
that's all we do, eat and hve sex, eat and have sex. he thinks it's bad and that we need to talk more or whatever but I'm just not seeing the problem...
So I put a beer on your bed and jumped on th3 other side of the bed like in the commercials. You my good sir, owe me a budweiser that your bed drank.
he said he was going grocery shopping but when he came back all he had was a jumbo bag of pancake mix and case of beer.
the essentials, lol
This question may sound intrusive, but how did pushing out a baby affect your vagina?
So my flight takes off at 8am. Does this mean I need to break my airport bar pre-flight ritual?
Aren't you the one who taught me that airports are the judgement-free drinking zone?
I just want to return to LA when the weed and dick is plentiful.
Girl, he's like catnip for my pussy.
what are you getting to drink for new years?
well seeing as how i just got diagnosed with a uti, whatever we can mix with cranberry juice
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