Why didn't you tell me that Dad was a registered sex offender?
We were going to tell you eventually, how'd you find out?
Our school resource officer showed us how to use Family Watchdog and pulled up his picture.
last night i found out that about 5 of my friends audio recorded us having sex through the bedroom door, then auto tuned it in the tpain app on his iphone.
i was actually impressed that she managed to throw up underwater while scuba diving
Fine. Just this once and because its veterans day will I send you a picture of my tits. You're lucky I love this country.
Yes, you can 69 in a fiat. But I think I have permanent nerve damage
When he grabbed my tits it felt like he was either giving me a mammogram or trying to pierce my nipples with his fingers.
Oh, and I'm only keeping her around till spring. Doing the hunt for cunt is too tough in 12" of snow.
Somehow it went from suicide to pierced nipples. I think we're good.
Like I'm literally drinking whiskey and making a stocking for my cat right now. What. Goes. On.
At least I had a $10 coupon for Plan B today. Smart shopping for bad decisions
Nothing says I love you as your fiancé bringing back home your drunk brother from his own stag party
Do you know this guy sitting in front of us? Asking for my vagina.
It figures that the only time one of my videos on Snapchat gets replayed is a video of my Hedonism Bot impression and NOT my nudes
Yeah, he threw a chair and hit her in the side of the head. She started hysterically crying and then proceeded to continue kicking our ass at beerpong. The girls got talent.
I told you that you couldn’t eat fifty tacos, you slapped me in the face, ate seventeen tacos, and fell asleep on my floor
Randomize
