he kept looking at my chin until i asked why, then he just said he was making sure his balls didnt leave a mark.
don't tell her this, but while we were doing it doggy style I picked up my phone and changed my status to "who let the dogs out"
I just made a milkshake without a blender... thats determination
we're making bets on your personal life
You never go ass to mouth. That's quite possibly the most important rule Paramedic school has taught me.
Wanna play whack-a-mole in my pants?
Your word choices worry me.
I'm hungover laying in my moms bed watching Space Jam.. Adult Life..
sigh, if only his dick was as big as his mouth
yeah I woke up in jail with two different shoes on and neither of them were mine
Tacos and sex are way better than any anti depressant pill ever was. I think I made a medical discovery here.
she just kept pointing at the cows and calling them field penguins
saw a family tailgating a graduation with hard liquor... i'm assuming yours?
are you shitting me? they told me they'd at least wait until 10am
On a scale from 1 to 10 how gross is it to get a chili dog from a vending machine?
But he said I was unpatriotic for not having sex with him. What was I suppose to say to that?
Remember that Czech tennis player I brought home from beer pong and banged on your couch last year? He just booty calle me. From the Czech Republic.
Randomize
