Do you think they could tell I was high on that conf call?
Don't be mad at me. I know peeing in your drawer is 1 thing and peeing on you while you're sleeping is another, but im sorry..i love you
took acid and went on safebus. all the lights were off except the adds. swear to god it was a submarine
the mandatory saturday morning class for those written up by RA's turned into a gold mine...just met EVERY hot chick that parties.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he just kept repeating that I have nice areolas
Has anyone ever told you you're majestic like a sea turtle when you fuck?
And your cock privileges have been revoked.
I think the name vodka for a girl is amazing
We shot off some fireworks at 12 and then I orchestrated the group singing of god bless the USA all while wearing a don't tread on me flag as a cape. I repped hard.
You know I found it really difficult to find a full lenght picture for the egg donor site where I wasn't holding any alcohol...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i have a raging boner for Saturday, day drinking is one of my top favorite things right next to alligator wrestling and blowing shit up
He left for work so I drank pickle juice from his fridge
I can't ever look his wife in the eye again. She will see right through my soul to his dick pic.
I just fell and sprained my ankle in the shower. No, I wasn't having sex. I was doing the time warp. Again.
So, were you planning on telling me you left your panties in my glovebox??
I woke up with your bra on, and some guys boxers. I'm in a random truck, in the middle of nowhere...
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