if you force a hooker to have sex with you and dont pay her would it be rape or theft? something to ponder
He's still on the phone with him. This is unnatural. Dudes don't call other dudes just to talk.
I wonder how many times I can be hungover in one day
just found preset five on the shower head...pretty sure my pussy just had a panic attack
In a tragic sexting typo, I typed the word "blobjob". Now she's coming over and I have no idea what I'm in for...
Not complaining, but why is there a Russian chick downstairs making latkes?
She bent the beer can with her tongue. I'm scared of what she'll do to me
He came out in cowboy boots and underpants holding a beer while he hugged my mom. I love Montana.
I tried exercising today. I ended up masturbating to the Wii fit trainer.
I am going to be fat forever.
I have fiberglass splinters all over my hands and woke up with a sign that says PUMPKINS in my room.
Until she magically finds a brain, I'm going to be a dick. Fair trade. She's a idiot, I'm an ass.
I woke up today in my boxers hugging a log and realized that I think I've gotten close enough to nature. I really need to stop doing shrooms with you
there's a 50/50 chance the night will end in alcohol-induced rituals of satanic nature
It's almost like he's actually taking my commentary and criticism to heart, but simultaneously succumbing to some primal urge to wear less clothing each time.
They want a bedroom just for their cats. And you thought we were gay.
Randomize
