i dont nkow, theres a guy slesping next to me and im wearing 8 tsthirts? wtf happened last night? will you come get me.
i think im in thre room next to you
i wish we had vans that drove around at night but insteand of ice cream and jolly tunes its taco bell and the macarena
connan obrien reminds me of an asparagus spear
We'll see haha. The cum didn't work...I just chewed the whole thing in a day.
I hope you meant gum...
I just got a high school volleyball teams practice cancelled because I slept with the head coach through their practice time.
as he pulled out he yelled "no kids!" and then passed out on top of me
I just found like 5 packs of sparklers. If someone doesn't get set on fire tonight I am retiring from party hosting.
donating our bodies to science does not justify what were doing to them.
If we can put a man on the moon, I'm sure we can turn a pringles can into a bong.
You knew you'd end up at his house the minute you emptied the bowl of condoms into your purse.
Woke up naked on your sister's mattress lying next to a single slice of bread.
A huge penis doesn't warm the soul. Or that's what I've had to tell myself.
I'm fine w planning around your penis prospecting. Saturday it is.
If its not for food we ain't going out.
The coke machine at work is laughing at me. Literally. I just heard laughter from the coke machine
Randomize
