I'm home now. bring me food and boobies
she was a 2....and a legitimate 2. like, helen keller is a 1, this girl...2.
He wants to know how I lost my bra in his pants....id like to know too
I just had to download an app to edit pictures on my new phone. The things I do for sexting...
THIS IS NO TIME FOR SHAME JOSH. JUST GOTTA GET IT IN. PURELY FOR LEVELING UP PURPOSES
You can't spell "party" without "RA."
You know what else you can't spell it without? "Gonna get fired."
I was mid hand job and stopped me because he wanted to "connect" which meant putting his thumb in between my eyebrows and a hand over my heart and closing our eyes...
My roommate is downstairs drunk, smoking, and listening to a self help DVD. Please dear God don't let this be the Ghost of Christmas Future.
day drinking caused me to be in bed at a decent time. can't complain.
I think I ejaculated my soul out.
this isn't the first time i woke up with peanut butter in my butt
He said that we couldn't refer to each other as brother and sister anymore cuz we were in no way related and he would love nothing more than to get naked with me.
You know when your cat drags a dead bird into the the house as a present and drops it at your feet looking all pleased because it thinks you'll be pleased? That's what sex with him was like.
I just want to feed you taquitos and play with your boner and live happily ever after
If you ever get divorced...would you call me??
Randomize
