i told her parents not too worry the way i do it girls dont get pregnant
they started playing Don't Stop Believin' and you had a melt down because it wasnt the Glee version
i couldnt tell she was wearing a bumpit until she started giving me head
so when i dont talk to her she talks to herself...idk whats worse
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He spanked me with a plate. I'm not sure where this is going...
You're just mad that I don't wanna have dugout sex with you
We woke up in the room with a hamburger patty on the bed side table, one bun across the room, and the other bun under my pillow. Still don't know who ordered room service.
We left his house because I forgot how to drink water, I was just holding it in my mouth and then spitting it out, needless to say I don't remember the sex.
The 78 year old woman who works next to me divorced her ex husband, remarried her first husband, and retired all in one day. I'd say it makes your breakup on Valentine's day pretty insignificant.
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I've noticed we have slowly begun to phase the "B" out of our Bromance.
I think your dad took our porno
this hangover isn't hhappening. im not letting it
its winning. its definitely happening
Shaving your bikini line at 11 at night in the Walmart bathroom feels trashy no matter why you're doing it.
I keep getting the feeling him and his friends are hilarious and we should drink whiskey together forever
He said did you just interrupt me midsentence to admire another man's penis?
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