checking your phone to see who you drunk dialed last night isnt as funny when you see you had a 17 minute call to your dad.
i'm going through the NYU 2014 group looking for future drunken hookups. too slutty?
The bloodstain in the garden looks like a sad face. Like I don't already know this is bad...
Take my keys. Load me into the vehicle. Drive. Get food. Come back. These are my demands.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Can an epipen be used as a tranquilizer ?
I think we should go through the tsa checkpoint with raging hardons when we go through LAX. I think we should pass out some viagra to everyone
If I can't get slightly excited by the thought of his face between my legs then I know I can never sleep with him.
They need to leave so I can start drinking shamefully.
I just replaced the poop spray with an air horn... Now we wait!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm sorry but the visual image of you suffocating on vagina is basically hysterical
Thank you for deleting me from Instagram. Also, I'm carrying your child. Happy new year!
Let's say we can see the evolution of our "relation" by his name in my phone. Pizza slice emoticone. Pizza guy. Jordan. Jo. Jackhammer Pizza Guy. Jockhammer pizza guy.
I learned tonight while in another country that no matter the nationality, men are disappointing in bed
So apparently I’m into choking now
She's celebrating a tinder-match-aversary and I'm not about that.
Randomize