I totes stole your whore crown.
With great power comes great responsibility.
living well may be the best revenge, but it doesn't hurt that my exhusband is now dating a BEAST.
you made pancakes with beer, you said they were good. then you threw up 15 minutes later
I just threw up a christmastime peep. I am literally already sick of the holidays.
Nah it's cool, I made him pinky promise me he wouldn't die if I left him passed out in the bathroom.
I need to get my pants from under your porch. People are asking questions.
Would it be sharing too much to tell you that my nipples hurt so much that I couldn't comfortably go down the stairs?
You forgot your "boyfriend" from last night on my couch. You're suppose to bring that shit with you.
My boob is missing a layer of skin
She just won 2 Grammys at 17 and were sitting here hotboxing our half bathroom
Woke up in a bathtub with both of my legs broken. How was your night?
I guess I'm an especially affectionate person under the influence of tequila.
Life lesson: if a hot naked girl tells you to spit on something, you spit on it. No questions.
Compositionally, that's actually a really nice picture.
And your penis looks really nice too.
No I don't. You owe me sex and cinnamon rolls.
Randomize
