I think god was stupid personally. The clit should be inside the vagina. Idiot.
I just had teddy grams, ritz crackers, and twizzlers for dinner. Hello, end of the semester.
I've spent the last ten minutes rubbing glue sticks on the wall
Well, I can't relate. I have no idea what it feels like to withhold sex. Or have self-control in general.
There is a large, jolly black gentleman in the parking lot of my appartment complex yelling about 5am jelly doughnuts. I want to be where he's at.
Even jesus won't love me after tonight. I'm going hard.
he pulled a $400 bottle of champagne out of the back part of his toiled and I was ready to blow him then and there
Day 1 of "Death of a Liver" weekend complete. It came with flashbacks of horrible mistakes I made due to alcohol. I'm excited for how Sunday is going to turn out.
When they send me to rehab, I'm screaming your name down the halls.
I want to be your penis for a week.
Literally just inhaled three cinnamon rolls. Sara is staring. It was inhuman
I'm just that drunk tells people I love them or wants to set them on fire. Accept that.
So I bought that bathing suit yesterday and got buyers remorse so I returned it today and then stole it. Win win.
My face is going numb. I think it's time I call it quits
Crop dusting thru forever 21
Randomize
