Awkward medical moment of the day: A very obese girl with a disorder that literally makes her hit herself punched herself in the face. Literally. While screaming 'MCDONALDS MONEY'. Right. Beside. Me.
remind me to tell you about the ham sandwich empire im building
we've been at disney 20 seconds and she already got the cops called over
My lack of memory is directly related to being friends with you.
Babe, I need to be clear. I DO NOT WANT TO HAVE ANAL. Never. No anal. No "talking about it"
I don't know but the stairs are covered in apples
Fair enough. I'm gonna finish off half a bottle of Brunettes in the shower anf relive the good ol' days. We need a reunion
you are never too drunk for berry picking
Im drinking ciroc out of an ice cream cone... my night is going fantastic
I feel like your dick pick is everywhere. Never have I needed to be so careful when posting pictures.
Good thing my vagina doesn't have a chronometer on it. I'm sure my fiance would be horrified. Probably 10 miles from this past weekend alone.
"There should be some kind of award for sleeping with your ex 9 times in 3 days."
Have you considered sword swallowing? Something about that bj tells me you could make a it a career.
I just don't wanna be that girl with no ride and no pants
I wish period tracker had a "on this day" also so i can see who i was with this day last year.
Randomize
