shes hot in the i'd deny it if anyone asked kinda way
i need a shirt that says "I fuck trainwrecks"
Well for one thing, she was eating rice with a shot glass.
just bought a $25 eighth from a chick who has a kid. i'm helping my community out right?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I making dinner, so you might want to actually come home tonight.
oh, you finally did the dishes then?
No, bought new ones.
He said he wanted to have kids with me so they could grow up to be professional linebackers. Not. A. Complient.
we need 14,000 post its to execute this plan
ALTON JUST DID GRAVY SHOTS. THIS IS WHY HE'S MY HERO
I'm pretty sure last night was the first time I've seen someone drink beer-soaked paper towels. Ever.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude I'm riding a fucking tortoise this is awesome you should come with me more often
Also, my phone suggested the phrase “puke in the mailbox" how many times have I had the need to text that to people?
I'm drinking vodka. Get ready for my famous "come over" mass snapchats
I'm gonna snort this pill I found on the ground cause that's how classy I am. Watch football and eat Beef jerky. Domesticated at its finest.
I don't know what that means but it's making me want to fuck you.
The same idiot-bubble, now just bigger and louder.
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