I swear coke makes your nose hairs grow out of control
dude on moped wearing crocs...somebody get this guy his man card back
No, I stopped taking my meds because I like crazy me better
He literally just walked in some random persons house and walked right to they're pantry. Then five minutes later he walks out with pop-tarts, mac and cheese, and captain morgan. We need to chill with this kid more often.
I just don't know about this life anymore. Quite frankly I think I belong up there in the great blue, lounging on a cloud sippin tea with Jesus
I consider myself to be an upstream bisexual
You're the salmon of the gays...
It's not a real holiday until someone pees on you. Did someone pee on you?
It was good. Ended up having a 3 hr make out session with her
What is this high school
There was a lot of catching up to do bro
I went shopping for a dress that was baptism and bar appropriate.
Help. I am eating nachos. But I'm with some guy. I need help. I don't know where I am. The nachos were so good. I'll bring them but help me.
I literally just want someone to fuck me and buy me cheeseburgers. I don't even want a relationship at this point. Just a chew toy and some food.
When a guy asks for your ig but you already know his blood type, social security number, & mother's maiden name.
So I got a text from him saying "jacking off...thinking of you" I think I'm going to get a restraining order
Every dick I’ve had or wanted in the last year is married. It’s like I became a professional home wrecker after I graduated.
Hot guy next to me on the flight lives near my grandparents. There’s a 100% chance I end up drunk and naked in his hot tub
Happy Thanksgiving to me!!!
Randomize
