So explain to me again how you wake up next to a Brazilian model and I wake up next to a turkey sub? And a jar of grey poupon.
White boys cant dance....we did an empirical study
new call of duty comes out in november. guess im not passing my finals
well most of my day revolves around power hour
just found out my horoscope sign is scales. it's like i was destined to be a drug dealer
is there a legit reason for the weird voicemail I got at 2:14am?all I could make out was 'help me' 'two hours' and 'toilet butt'. wtf did u drink.
I'm sorry I make you whore yourself out to him everytime I'm drunk and want mcdonalds.
Alright we have to be drunk.before noon tomorrow. Its a new law i just got passed through congress. It goes into effect imediately
ATTN: We are officially 15 weeks from our annual "Get-Mega-Stoned-and-BBQ" event. Start saving up the proper supplies. That is all.
Jk probs not coming. Tequila
I'm floating on a 30mph cloud right now not giving a fuck
Where the fuck are you? I just got punched in the nose by a tourist
They forgot my ranch. They're dead to me.
i have paint on my face i'm missing my earrings, there's a bag of rice in my room, and i have a purse full of monopoly pieces
My dog just blew me a kiss. First of all I'm stoned and second of all he's a pitbull. Those aren't sexual dogs. So wtf.
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