yup put them legs up on your shoulders and eat her like some folgers
eat her like coffee?
So I fucked that hot french guy last night
You do know he's the one who threw up on our table, right? You get to clean it up.
i'm pretty sure i lost all sex appeal when he caught me peeing in his bushes
please don't go to jail. I'd hate to have to call the montgomery county jail every time I need sex advice
We lived together for a year and neither of us knew we were both gay.
Were making Christian mingle accounts. First one to get laid doesn't pay bar tabs for a month.
Challenge accepted. See you in hell.
I should have bailed a long time ago. I mean, he has a bible verse-a-day app next to his dick pics in his phone.
I'll pretend I don't know she's blind, my morals claimed the back seat in this adventure.
Dude, why did I wake up with ketchup packets in my bed and the stove in my room??
Please tell me I made it home with both shoes on
Nope
I just saw a kid on iowa campus story that looked like the guy i made out with on spring break.
If we had a dog do you think we would be less hoe-y?
Nah
Pretty sure I have a sex related back injury. I'm not sure if I should be proud or ashamed.
So I'm never gonna get to see you again?
Hopefully.
Answered a bio test question bc of watching phineas and ferb. Remind me to always drink when studying.
Randomize
