party was madd awkward.. it was like every person who i sat next to in high school and never said hi to was there
what do kids with lesbian moms do for father's day? like do you talk about it? is it awkward? do you get the butchy mom a card?
my love horoscope just told me to "say it in frosting" should i take this literally?? i think yes.
I keep forgetting that I only have two nostrils.
Saw an eatery called Rusty Taco. That sooo could be me.
her cat was choking so she kept trying to stick her finger in her cat's mouth while saying "it's okay kitty, just do what mommy does"
it was like i was on a global safari of uncircumcised men
I'm deleting all the photos of dicks off my phone. This relationship could be serious
Heaven was on the 3rd floor and Hell was on the first. When the cop walked up he was confused as to who the noise complaint was for and wrote both apartments a noise violation.
Shes 18 and still has a curfew. it was great. didnt have to worry about her still being here in the morning.
It was a blind-side dick pic.
It's Friday you fucking nerd of course I'm drunk.
You just kept mumbling about the carpet being covered in stains that looked like the face of God. Until you decided that they were closer in relation to Dumbledore.
Setting myself up for trouble? Yes. But getting laid is a lot more important at this time.
So just spent 30 minutes of my life talking to my cousins friend who told me she buys cocaine from a pizza place by asking for extra Parmesan
Randomize
