I woke up in a stranger's bathtub with a broken shower curtain as my blanket.
i was watching some porn this morning and i realized i am blessed with a truly beautiful vagina
The answer to your question is yes. I am wearing a star of david to the bar in order attract a jewish man.
Dude, I just cut my asshole on the new toilet paper. If you rationed the grocery money to buy drugs, I better be getting some.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
even the AIR tastes like tequila.
Shot gunning beers for breakfast. You better be ready for today.
I found your bra. How you get it off the satellite dish is your problem.
Woah there. I lasted a semester and a fourth of college not having sex. trust me when i say keeping my virginity was an obstacle course of olympic proportions.
The virgin olympics. I would win the gold. For America.
I'm glad I get the same reaction from you for cookies and for my naked body
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I forgot to tell you, wear something you can puke on Saturday. We're christening this marriage with a shot of jager. NOT KIDDING.
It's a never ending cycle of men I've fucked knowing other men I've fucked. I need a new town.
He puked over my shoulder into the toilet. The guy in the next stall sounded totally appalled.
Are you considering all the consequences of doing your boss or are you just rationalizing with your vagina?
having flashbacks of licking salt of your dick for my shot of tequila
How drunk was I last night?
You tried to unlock a door with your dick. That drunk.
Not the explanation for the cock bruise that I was looking for.
Randomize