I am looking at the epitome of fake boobs right now
So J keeps drinking his last bit of drink, then spitting it out and drinks it again. Savor the flavor?
it was pretty much a given that i would lose my thong on dollar tequilla shot night
I think our camping neighbours like us. We're the drunk girls trying to chop firewood with no pants on at 3 in the afternoon.
college stoner meal of the day: microwaved nutrigrain bars
I am going to borrow your water/shock proof video camera for St. Pattys day so that if wake up next to the highway again I know why.
Ok but I hold the right to any footage of you getting slapped, puking, anything with body shots, and allowed to make a montage of it to put on youtube.
Idk, you were a drunk pirate that kept stealing pieces of people's costumes to keep as your booty.
That would explain all the random shit in my room...
There's a naked man in my car right now.
I gave three different guys a boner at the same time last night, and none of them are in the same city as I am. That's achievement.
I almost had a threesome in a giant beanbag chair. I love college.
Welp. It's confirmed. There is literally no lube on this entire island. Fuck me. More accurately, don't fuck me.
I just Spray tanned myself while high as fuck its either going to look like a work of art or terrible graffiti
I'm alone, 3 beers in, and cutting tshirts into belly tops.
My horoscope should say: you're an alcoholic, get help today, Pisces
You sent me a pic of you peeing in two separate directions
and like half a dozen dick pics
Randomize
