I just had the fat girl at the party come tell me I look sad and offer me a beer. I'm out.
I don't know what your problem is but seriously you're a cunt for throwing up that song on your page. It's rude as fuck
omg its myspace i didnt think anyone took that seriously anymore
afterwards we were spooning and he said he wished he was a kangaroo so he cold put me in his pouch and keep me forever. I left as soon as he was asleep.
Her boobs were tiny. I could have used her bra as a blind fold. Which in hindsight would have made things a lot better.
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By the way, her vagina was so tight i was worried that i would be stuck forever
Dude. I tried to convince her to eat poprocks and give me a blowjob. It did not work out well.
this is never going to happen for me, I think he thinks I'm crazy
well you did scream "PLEASE! I'LL S YOUR D IN FRONT OF EVERYONE"
I just used my med student white coat as ID to buy beer at 9 in the morning
I am now the only person in my apartment who hasn't had sex in my bed.
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If I'm not up by 8, will you please knock on my door?
That depends, can you stop texting me while you're masturbating?
Touche.
I CAN STILL HEAR YOUR VIBRATOR.
Bitch, he is not your friend and this is not Bravo. Get in this car before you get smacked
Oh my fucking god how fucking embarrassing never again will I mix drugs at a family barbecue
Okay well for one he didn't speak any english but before any happened he made me use the translator to consent
Humming the Indiana Jones theme song as my hand makes its way to his dick.
Sorry you ended up in detox. It's not my fault you decided to walk downtown in only your underwater at 3am. I think the tequila took over.
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