The way white people respond to them, you'd think Journey was the president of Caucasia.
we just stared at taco bell's menu on the website for 2 hours
Brought out my three foot martini glass last night, that explains why I haven't left my bed all day long.
You nicknamed her "lazy eye" and were screaming across the bar at her to buy you a drink...
Get here now. This is going to be possibly my most dangerous idea ever, and I'm the guy who challenged a hobo to a breakdance fight.
Jason and steven are boiling shrimp in the microwave again
I just hit your bf in the face with a mustard bottle and the guy at the table next to us bowed down to me.
Apparently she almost had an affair at Outback Steakhouse, details to follow when I get home but the apple really doesn't fall far from the tree
Also I just took Ritalin with coffee so if anyone wants to know what numbers sound like, I got you
He started to lick a stick of butter and was calling it Jennifer.
He had Homeward Bound on VHS how was I supposed to not fuck him
shut up and let me use my vagina as a weapon of self destruction in peace!
Being pregnant feels like you have a hangover everyday.. Don't listen to what anyone says about how wonderful it is
It all started with a game of naked twister.
Well I've decided to refuse to conform to society and be naked the rest of the day.
Randomize
