everytime i listen to a chris brown song and like it i feel like i bad person
I don't smoke a lot but now and then I do. Weed and I are like still standing naked in a bathroom together deciding if we should blow one another or bolt for the exit. An awkward relationship.
considering i was high when my dad made me pee in the cup i might fail this one
Stop staring at my boobs, I can't concentrate
Well how do you think I feel
fair enough
Are you still giving blowjobs?
Who is this?
Hey so summary of last night. I threw up in a rain boot then tipped it over on my bed, did my laundry and passed the fuck out. I feel like I didn't see you.
I swear they were about to hook up!!
I know because I was in the tub taking an imaginary silent bath. They stopped cuz I gagged on my shot.
Its not college unless your study breaks were to go throw up from blacking out the night before
Member that time when we got super drunk and had fun and fell in love
I remember it like it was tomorrow.
Fuck I am so excited for the first time I can make someone call me Doctor Nikki during sex after I finish my PhD
Oh yeah I remember when I first saw Kyler's balls. If there's anything high school swim prepared me for, it's the amount of testicles I would see here
I got a 5/5 with my "I don't want a baby" rant essay. She said my use of the word "leeches" was a powerful metaphor :)
I'm high, watching "Scream" and eating a grilled cheese sandwich off my boobs. I'm not going anywhere
Come on, clusterfuck. Put on a pushup bra and get your fine ass to the bar, or you will be a sad single stoner forever
I'm going to avoid eye contact because my old high school English teacher is not who I feel like seeing after I just had a dick in my mouth
ETA 20 minutes and if you greet me at the door with a gin & tonic I’ll give you head.
Randomize
