is it a bad sign that i now think of my run-ins with cops as "skill building seminars"?
um, yeah. i think it is.
Covered in glitter and dick. 2010 feels a lot like 2009.
You remember those guys we called the police on after they stole our keg? Turns out one of them is a student instructor in one of my classes. Figuring out how best to use this information.
Is it penis luge time yet?
I'm stuck on the dance floor between two fat people. I don't think they feel my existence. Please help.
College: when you have to set an alarm to start drinking
What is their policy on bow ties and belligerence?
Touche. Dude, I fastened garters. Drunk. I deserve a medal from a drag queen.
I don't care how sexy you think I look in my scrubs. Wanting a blow job is not a medical emergency.
You just want to live out all your fuck fantasies with all these girls through me. I know your game. Well played sir.
He told me I'm a small core of pure evil wrapped up in sweetness, gold, and puppies. He gets me.
That is beautiful
ugh i want to get waxed but I’m afraid. my vagina has had enough trauma this week, i don’t know if I can put her thru any more.
He ate me out while I was playing bejeweled. It was the greatest moment of my life.
It’s a 10 inch dick! Of course I’m getting a Brazilian
i haven't seen you in two years and we have like 16 hours, all i want is cuddles, wine, and some light groping
Randomize
