if you made me into a cookie and threw me into a betty crocker easy bake oven on christmas morning...that's how baked i am
We aren't going to mix hockey and sex texts tonight.
I totally agree. all sexting is on hold till after the games over.
Playoffs. This shit is serious.
i just got on a party bus. i think i left my belly button at the bar.
I can hear her moaning. I'm on some random guy's counter. He wanted me to cuddle but I said I didn't know how.
Seius question. Does a penis floar when ina baht? Must find out.
I was afraid that she would smell her boyfriend's penis on my breath while we were talking.
drunk. just smoked a spliff with a 19yr old hungarian bike taxi driver and bonded over the difficulties of getting weed in a different country. idk y shit like this isnt in the study abroad info packets
She's like a connoisseur of porn. Her collection has things in it I never even knew existed. She even has an Italian batman porno. Where has she been all my life?
It was almost as bad as the time I peed on the floor of the Pentagon's subway station.
I posted her number in the m4m casual encounters area of Craigslist.
I guess her always saying "gay men love me!" will finally get put to the test.
I guess she was just worried I'd end up sleeping with you again
It's not too late to disappoint her you know...
Just found some confetti on my nipple if that's any indicator of how the night went
I tried to trade my phone for pizza last night. I guess I had priorities last night
Shhhh less advice, more soothing words and dirty phrases
Dude whoeverrs house this is has only creeam cheese and beer in the fridge. Thats my kinda diet
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