We are walking down to the lake and then i dont know. Where did you sleep?
Places.
Plural? Please tell.
It's amazing how much jurassic park has contributed to my life recently
Dude we got so high last night. I said "watch this" threw a goldfish cracker in the toilet, and laughed my ass off. We watched the dvd menu for 30 minutes too.
I threw away my jacket instead of washing it, the jungle juice stained me more of shame than red food coloring... i have never been that white girl wasted before...
It's definitively the wine. Every time I can drink and work I feel like I win at the game of life.
She deserves a chance to suck my penis. This is America. Its her God given right.
My old dealer would be proud of the drug cocktail I just took for my back pain.
If muffins & morning blowjobs don't make him happy, frankly, I don't think anything will.
Dead. I am actually dead. Also, worst nightmare confirmed: throwing up in a four hundred person lecture.
He left weed in my bong for me this morning. What a guy.
So you've been sexting me while spending time with your family
I'm a family man but I have priorities
did i just pee glitter
I got my period on eclipse day. I'm officially in line with the moon.
ya I went to the grocery store literally just for cheese and condoms
I don't see why I have to pay for it.
your head went through the window, you're pretty much obligated to pay for it.
Randomize
