Job is the problem. Drinking, the solution.
Well the party says they're going to have three kegs and four trampolines. I think I'm going to invite my EMT buddies just to be safe.
my night ended in me puking all over jenna's bed, then me trying to wash the sheets in the toilet.
Who's nuvaring is under my pillow?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I hope my orgasm sounds aren't secretly that bad and no one tells me
How does this dude know what a dying walrus sounds like? That's the real question
i dont trust my judgment anymore so im only going to fuck guys who can donate blood at the red cross. they have standards.
no dont worry i changed into my costume in the hospital bathroom
I feel like I'm laying on a pillow cloud. With little baby angel fingers between me and the cloud lifting me up. Singing hymns in my ear.
Shower sex is an art that should not be attemted drunk
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yeah started playing at the wedding last night, when the line. "Ludacris fills cups like DD" he starts pointing at my tits right in front of his grandparents.
Also I'm sorry for asking you to shave my vagina for me last night
I have a to do list for the summer and thing one is figuring out my sexual orientation
Hey, I'm just seeing how you're doing and letting you know I fucked your dad last night. Don't fuck with me.
His exact words: "I don't have anything you can't treat with antibiotics."
The guy next to me on the bus has one hole in his jeans that has over 20 mini dicks drawn on his leg. Classic.
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