Ok I love you more. To infumty and beyong.
i barely touched his dick and all of a sudden he yells, "BONER!"
So I tried to call my phone from his phone and was like, "hey, my name is not in here..I thought you had my number" turns out he has my number saved as "gives good head"
dude, showing up drunk to physics was the best idea ever. I just tripled my participation for the semester. I love st pattys day
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
No, I'm not keeping her! I can't become an adulterer and a dog stealer in the same 24 hours...
He's Hawaiian. Thank god it wasnt a real American
We've done the math and the dogs tails are wagging at a rate of 3000 wags per hour. Stoned.
And when he pulled me off the bathroom floor, he just looked at the cat litter stuck to my chin and said "oh sweetie" and shook his head. I think my dad's officially given up hope.
Babe. You eat pussy like a god warrior sent from a galaxy far far away to destroy female genitalia with new realms of pleasure. That's how I know your not gay.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He took a girl home tonight that he was trying to sell a fridge to. She wanted a fridge and got his dick. He's got a talent.
I'm trying to ve beat feiesnd sent.
Within the hour, he sent me 8 texts and 4 voice memos. One of the memos was just him whistling for 3 minutes. ...It's official, I attract the crazies.
Doing laundry. My jeans from last night smell like chicken wings and motor oil.
is it wrong to hook up with someone at a memorial drum circle
I'm hearing voices and sirens. I'm scared. I heard a manatee out there.
Randomize