he keeps commenting everything on my facebook. it's like he's virtually peeing on me
i just made my gag reflex go away.
When I got to his place, he served wine and cheese and made me sit on the balcony while he read his poetry to me. He cockblocked himself.
Just walked by a group of guys calling out walks of shame with a mega phone from their front porch.
Does my status still say I suck cocks? I don't know how to change it
If my bosses could see, smell or hear me right now they would understand why its a horrible idea to keep the office open sundays
While you were puking in the ocean I was rubbing your back saying "Just give it back to Mother Earth".
I told my mom about how you got white girl wasted and sobbed about Whitney Houston. She sends her condolences.
tell her thanks so much
I used my yoga mat as a door stop so he couldn't come into my room when i was sleeping last night. Drunk engineering at its finest
You don't understand. My ass is the color of eggplant.
There is a midget in cheetah face paint on a leash here
Was it you I was with where I saw a guy open a beer with his butt?
THE FASTEST WAY TO MY HEART IS THROUGH FAMILY SIZED BAGS OF GENERIC BRAND CHEESE BALLS
That’s true love. If they recognize a chocolate mold of your anus.
Fuck this virus. We’re finally back on campus but the bars suck parties are banned sports are canceled we eat in our rooms and can’t fucking hangout with anyone. I’m tired of virtual classes and involuntary celibacy
OMG IKR! It’s not college unless we’re puking in a toilet wondering if we’re pregnant or just hungover!
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