"Reality" and all separate lives are the same thing?... We all have separate realities?! My life Has one reality and yours has another?
Haha how much did you smoke
4 feet of smokeee!
i think beer pong is the only time ive ever found a use for geometry
well after we realized that his best friend and my twin sister were hooking up it was kind of an unsopken agreement that we would too
The best was having to tell my 16y/o cuz and her bf that we could see him fingering her in the inner tube. Lucky for them, I'm the cool cousin... and was river-level fuckedup.
day 8: i just gave goat a piece of pineapple soaked in rum. as an animal science major, im ashamed. as a normal person, it was awesome.
for once, the $56 i am about to pay for plan b was actually worth the sex.
Nahh. Maybe not even a handful. It's more like a heaping teaspoon worth of dick.
Two words that describe last night: naked and backflips.
walked into my roommates bathroom to her throwing up a quesadilla while singing come on skinny taco
All I know is that I have a black eye and an extra $200 in my wallet. Other than that, clueless.
On the other hand, this could be a new level of shame for me.
I ask for a dick pic and he sends a picture of Dick Cheney. Who does that?
And then I realized my chick friends consist only of sober you, drunk you and hungover you
You know what would have been funny if we got arrested last night? The inventory search of the lock box:\n\nContents:\n1 work ID\n1 33 round Glock magazine\n1 set of keys\n1 vibrator\n2 bags fruit snacks\n1 parking hang tag
No I will not paint you for Mardi Gras in town. It is going to rain and you don't need another ID charge
Randomize
