it was like she was tryin to eat my face and i was defending myself with my mouth
So on facebook, the pictures from my church mission trip are right up next to the pictures of my first time on E. Sorry Jesus.
idk. I was on the deck with Dominic and i felt something weird on my arm. I looked down and you were licking my elbow.
We are stranded. Come find us. Bring an egg
You got into a heated argument about Frankenstein's intelligence while double fisting burritos from taco bell.
My roommate was tripping balls last night, he kept me up all fucking night
Roommate? Please tell me you're not calling your cat your roommate
I fill condoms, not promises.
omg sorry but i tried to stop you when you were at your drunk limit but i took my eyes off you for like 2 seconds and you suddenly appeared with hard liquor in both hands for yourself and downed them and it was downhill from there
You dove at him but passed out mid dive. Shame it wasnt a costume party your superman suit wouldve been clutch in the situation
I was going to say that I wasn't sure how that happened... but then I remembered that I bonded with the Australians over vitamins and INXS and they bought me tequila.
I know it's my dream I got hurt enough to leave work but not hurt enough to stop drinking
My dad told me I would need to be my mom's DD tonight. So, that's how my Easter weekend is going down.
WHY IS SHE PANDERING YOU, A SIMPLE GOBLIN, TINY WEENER PICTURES OVER STATE LINES
My new superpower is making fuckboys disappear!
Bending dicks and egos since 2002
Do you remember telling those ppl that they need to mate and give you the baby and in 15 years you will all reunite and it will be a party?
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