i always forget that thursday isnt the weekend in the real world
and I asked her"are you allergic to condoms latex like your older sister " she said "Idk this is gonna be my 1time"
and he thought i came like four times in 2 mins. my leg just kept cramping up
The used rubbers I threw behind her bed all semester must have landed on the baseboard heater. They went up in smoke when she turned on the heat last night.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Why do you think it's a no-pants party?
Invite says "dress to impress". Her fault for leaving it open to interpretation.
It's nights like those I refer to my life motto: You can't be just friends with someone after you've seen their genitals.
I'm responsible for my client's overall well-being. Which is terrifying coming from someone that can't stop masturbating and eats leftover pizza just about everyday.
you 2 were alone in the living room and the dog walked in and you started yelling what are all these people doing in here
Finally met a man who appreciates my beer pong skills, definitely a keeper for the weekend
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yes, if by 'finishing my business' you mean vomiting in her bathtub and losing my watch.
So please don't worry, but I need some help getting blood out of my drywall so I can get my security deposit back. I would not ask if the need was not great.
He said did you just interrupt me midsentence to admire another man's penis?
I'll just go on tinder. Seeking strong male to help take apart ikea furniture and move. I'll touch your dick.
Man I gotta stop stashing shit when I'm high. I just spent 2 hours searching for my bag of pot and eventually found it in fucking a bandaid box.
Is it in poor taste to drop acid before midnight mass?
I love this.
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