I'm like a rollypolly, I only open my legs up when I feel safe.
im dressed up like a present. waiting for someone to unwrap me ;)
this is your brother
I had a terrible day! The only thing that makes me feel better is knowing Jack Bauers day was worse.
I just sniffled when I woke up and got a bump of coke. I have never felt so good hung over.
I was topless in his bathroom sink taking bong rips , goodmorning . He told me he could get use to this
Mike is worried about me going on a cruise in June without him....how cute he thinks we are going to last till June
I tell myself every day I shouldn't be friends with you
Drunk me wrote a bucket list last night. #4 is "hate fuck a childhood enemy". Can we make this happen?
Well he was saying something about being emotionally unavailable since his dad died, but then I blew him in a tree and he shut up
It all started because he put my damn phone in his pants. By his crotch nonetheless.
Totally had a conversation drunk last night with a bisexual chick at my apartment in Spanglish too.
You're a hero.
Then he unzipped his pants and whispers, " oohhh, look out!"
He fucked me in his tour van, I feel like an official groupie.... Except I don't even listen to his band.
And thanks for putting me in that safety position on the bathroom floor while I was spooning the toilet
So drinking that old rum that I found in the ceiling of my dorm was prob not my best idea. But good news: my puke was so colorful b/c of all the skittles i ate
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