You made me cry and you don't even care
Everyone knows that the fastest route to a corporate advancement is to take a shot in the mouth
i freaking love being in a circle of guys. if i fart none of them suspect me.
he changed my name in his contacts to "rick", so his mom wouldn't know he was texting me
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i just realized that fran drescher is the 90's version of a guidette.
so this was truly a case of the blacked out leading the blacked out.
I don't appreciate the fact that you tagged me as a giant bucket Miracle Whip.
So, your mugshot picture is behind the counter at B-Dubs, with the caption: "not allowed on premesis."
You were stoned out of your mind. We were eating cold cuts and you wouldn't shut up about how it was the wettest meat you'd ever felt in your life.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If I had pants on, you wouldn't be getting this text message
I may be bringing home two guys tonight. I'f they won't go for a double-team you can have the lanky one.
You played Frank Sinatra today after we had sex. You moved way up in my literal book of men. Congrats.
She's going to hate me
Yeah well one of her many personalities always hates you.
The rest will just start to agree
Went kayaking. drunk. DID NOT FALL IN. Mission succesful.
And my butt misses you like the deserts miss the rain.
Randomize