Balls are like the throw pillows of the penis
I told her i was enlisting in the air force tomorrow.....it was like the activation code to her vagina
I guess you can say it's a tradition... whoever brings home the ugliest guy has to do all the cleaning the next day
I dont know why people are racist. Both the mexicans and the irish gave us holidays where everyone drinks on a wednesday.
Chasing bourbon with pepto... Dedication.
I ended up on the roof were calling it a tie
Also, horsecock action starts in about a month. Have you prepared yourself yet?
Well I'm drunk and covered in baby oil so tonights not ideal
I was kind of torn between "Wow, this is awkward," and "Wow, my therapist is hung."
I've been there a week.. I'd rather all my coworkers not know that I'm already sleeping with my boss.
I sang Sweet Caroline with a homeless man and made him 25 bucks. Redbull vodka gives you wings!
facebook is just a cold reminder of all the times other bitches won my hookups
I guess the wine stains on your shirt and the $2 vodka tonics you're sweating out just scream, "Welcome to DC, please ask me for directions."
Not sure but if it exists I will find it and I will fill my face with it
Listen gotta draw the line somewhere. Apparently that line is at my nuts.
Randomize
