i have a feeling tonight will end in rehab
He told me they were just razor bumps!
I just got sparklers from my secret santa. Drunken sledding just got to a whole new level of dangerous
i was in the bathroom puking my brains out, a girl walked in and said "i just came to do the same thing" so i told her i would move over and share the toilet. its better than being alone.
Taking shots out of pine wood derby trophiesssssss. best idea ever.
The gym is handing out free condoms this week, motivation to work out this week?
The world isn't going to end because you slept with him!
... that would be easier though.
perfect irony that i'm celebrating international women's day with a yeast infection
Phone sex soon? I mean date. Sex date. Date phone.
all 3? possibly?
I think I'm up to the challenge.
Walking into the first day of college is like walking into a meat market. A meat market of sex.
Kyle's mobile fuck service..... Kinda has a nice ring to it don't you think??
How's my date look?
Like a retarded elf
In a good way
Lol yeah. Because I just woke him up to blow him for being hot.
Now everytime I sit on a toilet I think about having sex with him. Great.
Very mixed signals tonight. He gave me the best handjob while gloating about the Superbowl to his dad on the phone. When he was done he left me on the sofa alone for ten minutes before returning with wet wipes beer and nachos.
Randomize
