i was just lookin through my fb pics and i think im with a cat in like 40% of them..: how sad is my life
I cannot stress to you how much better your current situation is than listening to gay sex
we made malted milkshakes. malt as in malt liqour.
Were you really trying to feed me potato chips while I was sitting on the toilet?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You fell asleep with your fingers in my vagina. You made this a relationship.
Post-shopping-cart-scooter-jousting victory fuck?
I have to date her. We need a place to stay when we go tailgating.
which one of you assholes put my new jeans down the garbage disposal?!
I'm not having the "why are your fucking my daughter" talk and the "your a drug addict" talk with your mom tonight.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
That dude with the beard walked up to me, turned my water into wine with everclear and kool-aid, and walked away. Pretty sure drunk Jesus is back.
I told the person I was on the phone with to hold on while I looked for my phone. I think it's time to stop doing dabs.
I've never been so tempted to check my phone during sex in my life.
I joined the mile high club last night. I ran a mile while high on coke. It was glorious
He just turned down phone sex for hockey and I'm so relieved I'm fucking a straight guy that I'm barely even mad
I call bullshit
Call it what ever you want I just need to figure out how to get permanent marker off my cock
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