Me hooking up with her is like rush being president. Bad news.
have you ever noticed that homeless people never have acne. suck it proactive
i love marijuana more then i could love a human baby.
Why would you say my penis is small in front of so many people?
He cut you off when you said Paula Dean was in your soul...He kicked you out when "Paula" started eating random peoples food
I woke up and watched my kitten suck on his nipple. Way too hungover to intervene. He thought it was me, so he just giggled and mumbled "mmm girl."
Seriously? God I hope he wasn't lactating.
......... Poor kitty
This bowl of cereal would be the size of a giant's bowl-piece. It's. that. big.
How much did you smoke??
Hey I know you're not home, but I'm here. Your front door is unlocked and someone took shit on your doormat...
His penis could choke an elephant. A baby elephant... But an elephant non the less.
I'm like still hungover from the quinceanera.
I feel like every man should aspire to get a blowjob from a sword swallower.
Me too like the fact they didn't arrest me wants to send them an edible arrangement
did you just try to prove your straightness by quoting a lady gaga song?
I also guarantee you multiple orgasams and blueberry pancakes
what happened last night?!
you took a shot and then laid down on our kitchen table and passed out.. then when we tried to move you to the couch you screamed "no! i love tables"
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