..Thats also how I think I got the lyrics from MIAs Paper Planes Sharpeed on my ass? Maybe.
don't go back without me... they'll know i'm pooping.
i was so drunk that i ate a carrot out of her guiena pig's cage and thought it was normal
you passed out when you kept trying to hold your breath during the underwater scenes of 2012
i just funneled a beer through a mask n snorkel.. can you check that off my bucket list..
She just ended a sentence with "and he doesn't even mind my herpes..."
Burnt myself on soup.. consencus go back to hospl. they will lov me. twins in one nigh. still hve band on. fuck
she's unstoppable after she starts doing shots and yelling NANNER
I have to answer enough questions about you, I don't need your uterus tossed in the conversation.
I just used crown royal bags as pot holders...
Literally just had a girl put her street name into my phone. Yeah.
Im gnna go loik fir my newq gay friuend now
Goodbee
The not so cute guy next to me made me play Kid Rock on the jukebox but I'm a big believer in free drinks so I obliged.
Oh, and Harry Potter. We could be fuck-and-Harry-Potter buddies.
Ya know what's the worst? Being drunk and wanting to show someone a picture of your goddaughter but not wanting to open the pictures on your phone because the first one is of someone's dick..
Randomize
