So...we accidentally left a bag of puke in your sister's room. Heads up.
i think 'regret' was last night's theme. i could taste it in my mouth and woke up next to it.
Ummm so I just found the baby pumpkin that was on my porch last night in Village Pizza this morning on their counter. The cashier said some drunk girl came in and told him it was a present.
he put $150 on the cabs dash so 9 of us could pile in and ride 3 blocks to the apartment.
You are not allowed to borrow my car ever again. It smells like a hobo orgy happened in my backseat with a hint of onion. What did you do.
Listen to me plotting my whoredom.
it's graduation. he's gonna get congratulations slash emotional i cant believe youre leaving me sex.
Your car is in front of my house. Keys are in the mailbox. There is a fire hydrant in your trunk. Happy Birthday
I can only use one eye at a time. And if I want to listen, I have to close both of them.
It's a whole movie about Joseph Gordon-Levitt watching porn and having sex... I NEED to own it..
we talked about the guy being eaten by the anaconda.. Then I proceeded to blow him
I wanted to buy shoes but nothing fit. So i'm getting a vibrator.
Is there such thing as a tasteful dick pic? I think I just got one if they exist.
There we go, I shall begin my attempt to achieve whore status today
Let's just say when I woke up I was still drunk. My hangover hit me around noon so I chilled w my dad and took a bath and shower at the same time. You just can't do that at college
Randomize
