i wish peter jackson would direct porn
i'm wearing my white shorts to coax my period out of hiding.
Is it sanitary to roast marshmallows over a cigarette lighter?
idea:have a jello shot stand(opposed to lemonade stand) to raise money for spring break
who the fuck is that kid sitting with you...
I don't have any fucking idea. I woke up and he was there. I'm kinda creeped out.
So I realized I was officially over him when I was getting a lap dance on the keg bus at 3am from his old boss and I was double fisting:)
The "don't get cum on anything" rule also applies to my furniture and scarves
That's not technology. Doesn't count.
One of those nights had to have been when we tried to walk through the McDonald's drive through -- and then got in the car with complete strangers. And stole their hamburgers.
You know it's a good party when even the dealers were too fucked up. Just found and counted 140 E pills I found in a bag in the couch. Just paid for weed this month.
I'll have my hookups make my March Madness picks. Win my bracket, win my heart. That's how it works right?
We pretended the crowd cheering the Thunder's win was cheering for us while we had sex on the couch.
You know our reunion in two weeks shall be a drunken bikini clad magical adventure right
I'd tell u there's strippers to make you get here faster, but that would be a blatant lie... There's strippers here.
I just took a service station dump so foul I had to buy gas out of guilt
So many people have told me I have great tits tonight, I'm unstoppable
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