I fucked **** last night, don't tell mike
this is mike. we're done.
The only way im leaving this casino is in a golden chariot or an ambulance
I'm 99% sure that for 3 hours I thought you were British. We must smoke that again.
just spent about 3 1/2 hours looking for a dollar so I can buy weed.
suggestion: become a stripper.
Houston, we have a blender
Did you blow the guy you weren't supposed to hook up with again in the bathroom of pita pit? Cause that happened last night...
We tried to make ramen in a glass bowl on the stove. They called facilities to pick the glass out of the door
I broke out the Krispy Kreme, and am possibly having random internet sex in less than an hour. I think I got this breakup under control.
I AM AT THE LOUNGE WHERE THEY FILMED THE LAP DANCE IN SHOWGIRLS....IT IS AMAZING
GOOD MORNING. Have you seen the Avenger vibrators?
I CAN FEEL MY HEART BEATING MY WHOLE BODY
I'm just trying to find the strength to put my bra back on and come inside
Started out playing table tennis then ended up fucking him on the table. Happy cinco de mayo
Woke up in a car, do you own a silver car parked a few miles form the house...hope so
Bro, it was an EPIC night once again last night. I’m so sorry that you saw me naked.
Randomize
