i may or may not have been spotted by tourists while getting head in the vicinity of the jefferson memorial
Jake died.
WTF????????? That's how you tell me????
Oops typo. Jake cried.
sometimes I tug on my anal hairs for pleasure
you've officially gone too far. we are no longer friends
A freshman just woke up on our back pourch... He swears there was a party here last night but we didn't have one
He keeps apologizing for not being able to get hard when he's drunk. We havent even left the club yet.
I took her to see 2012 then broke up with her, the movie was a metaphor.
just thinking about him makes my vagina shudder.
so when i dont talk to her she talks to herself...idk whats worse
She recited Pi throughout ever orgasm she had....she said it was a game she likes to play...how far she gets is how she judges her lovers...I am oddly turned on by this...
i'm taking a spore imprint of the mushroom we found growing in our bathroom and sending a picture to ryan. he will then be able to tell if it's trip-worthy
I totally intended to come to the hotel, but I woke up in a parking lot
The struggle is real.
I hope to God it's not the new neighbors having sex, because what I'm hearing sounds like a mildly defective vuvuzela or a cow giving birth.
Just wiped the ashes off my forehead before he came over to have sex. Definitely going to hell.
He just stopped me mid blow job so he could text his wife asking for TacoBell.
Im not as flexible as I once was, but I still managed to get eaten out in the front seat of a hummer behind keddies.
Randomize
