Do you think they'll have a special part during the BET awards for Michael Jackson even though he turned white?
So I'm really hungover walking to work and these douches from comcast on bikes ask if they can take a picture with me to show that they're doing their job. The picture: me, this chick from comcast, i'm holding a 2 ft. pixie stick, a comcast flyer and i'm puking in the parking lot. sounds like their doing a good job!
she gave up head for lent, but she said sex was still fair game
i cant cry in cvs. not again.
Just read my long term horoscope. I'm not gonna get laid for another 2 years.
Puking green right now......... jaimison mcflurry very bad idea
I just laid my head on this pillow and I smelt your penis. It was comforting.
All I've done for this 11 hour car ride is kegel and listen to our sex playlist so your dick better be good and ready
He just asked me to be his girlfriend while having sex on his parents kitchen counter
I curse you to think about Guy Fieri whenever you have sex with your lady.
It's 4/20 and I spent the morning in the gym and am working later tonight. I don't even have any weed. Why am I adult-ing again?
He finger blasted me like an angel dude
whatcha doing?
lying in bed pretending to be a slug
We found you walking up the on ramp to the highway carrying a 40 mph speed limit sign with no shoes on. Rough night?
So I thought you might like to hear how I went to sams club to print some pictures and suddenly there was 20 pictures of your dick and my snatch on the screen
Randomize
