went in for an STD check and they referred me to an alcohol and drug councilor. kick me when i'm down.
Great. There's a birthday party at work today. Now I can stand around and feel uncomfortable for an hour.
afterwards we were spooning and he said he wished he was a kangaroo so he cold put me in his pouch and keep me forever. I left as soon as he was asleep.
its totally unfair that im just as ill-prepared as a 16 year old but there's no tv show for 25 and pregnant.
After 2 hrs of driving around looking for him, we just found him sleeping in the bed of my truck with the cover closed, cuddling with the spare tire.
Only you would get a date out of getting hit by a car
I have reverted to folding laundry while watching porn. how much sadder can my life get?
Basically, what i'm trying to say is, if you don't have something, excuse or gift, to satisfy my anger i am going to look you in the eye and piss on the floor.
some people popped out of a houseboat and asked us to their party. their houseboat IS A WEEDBOAT. it is full of weed they grow weed. EVERYWHERE.
She jumped on a table and took off her shirt and started yelling things that no one understood. For being 3, she has a dead on impression of a drunk party girl.
Found a trail of Taco Bell hot sauce packets through the garage to our back door and cheese in my bra. I'll say it was a successful Sunday Funday.
I sent him a topless photo and he complimented my eyes. I'm not sure if I'm offended or pleasantly surprised.
What's your fascination with fucking to the Lion King Soundtrack?
Legit hope my Trump humping Brother dies of this shit so I can stop pretending to still love him.
What does "mood AF" mean?
Mood as fuck.
Why did you comment that on a video of a gorilla throwing its own shit?
Randomize
