question: does your pee smell like mojitos at all?
Found a phone last night. Hope "daddy" gets picture messages
So I decided to start saving money for my abortion in a tomato sauce jar because it says ‘Prego.’ I know I thought it was fucking genius!
I go to guys houses late at night, have a little fun, come back by dawn having made their life a little bit better. I am the official blow job fairy.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I almost masterbated to the avatar love scene ha it was so hot
smelt my brothers hands when he got home to see if he lied about smoking again...he didn't lie but i definitely didn't expect to smell some other girls vagina.
You are very nonchalant about the high probability of us having an orgy.
Eh, I'm ok with this, this can work. We're the best kind of the worst people.
Dude. Cab ride home consisted of me making out with an Asian girl sitting next to my Dad
begin the sex magic rocket ship countdown
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I reek of latex and grilled onions.
Mission accomplished.
Did u smell a guys dreadlocks in the McDonald's drive thru line last night or did I dream that?
Only you would have a vasectomy while you're awake and report on the soundtrack first
I bought a box of wine on my way home. I figured if I’m going to be broke during the holidays, I might as well be able to drink about it.
She just asked me if I was going to stay the night. I responded "I know that we are upside down".
I feel like ditching all logic and responsibility and get shit-faced before the week's over. Thoughts?
Randomize