Tell me exactly where it said it wasn't a unisex bathroom.
Just saw a policeman use his lights to go through a red light only to turn them off and go to Sonic...
I feel like tequila is Gods way of lighting my fuse to do something awesome
Admittedly I was a little ambitious with some of the positions but you walked in during the worst of it.
So I just found out that my mom and dad arent married
What? They have three kids?
Yep. And apparently I have a half brother. Happy Birthday to me
woman puking in liquor store parking lot at 9:30 on a tuesday morning = best commute ever.
and my souvenir for the night was a nice ambulance blanket
Fell in the ditch running from the pizza guy I stole the pizza from. If you are still at my house come find me, pretty sure I need stitches.
You want a summary? Scottish women that start drinking at 7 am. Cherries soaked in moonshine. Japanese beer. Old men smoking stuff that I'm pretty sure is illegal here and in Japan. One is doing a karaoke striptease. There's your summary.
My walk of shame this morning would have been much less obvious if it hadn't been 6:30 in the morning and I wasn't walking through downtown Nashville in a Steeler jersey.
Wait I'm all alone with a guy and his turtle
There's a girl in class eating a pumpkin pie. Like a whole pie straight from the pan with a fork.
I think you are severely overestimating being able to get your lingerie back by posting the lyrics of Irreplaceable
It's 2016 and I'm somehow banging the milkman.
I STUDIED GEOGRAPHY I KNOW THIS SHIT!! DON'T YOU DARE QUESTION MY AUTHORITY ON GLACIAL DEPOSITION AGAIN BITCH!!
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