I just spent my lunch hour driving around campus yelling "TRADE LIVES WITH ME!" to all the freshmen moving in
Drinking mikes hard & watching the swan princess. i fucking LOVE college
how was last night?
i woke up with my hand stuck in a jam jar with my keys in the bottom and a dog licking peanut butter off my boobs. you tell me.
just wondering who decided to put a cup of throw up in my fridge
Quite frankly, I consider the fact that I'm NOT pregnant one of my greatest achievements and I'd like to chronicle that ongoing success. I'm going to post pictures of me at "0 weeks" once a week.
I was naked with an australian flag taped to my boobs. Damn internationals think they can claim everything.
I'm more concerned about the fact that I can't feel my gums
I know this is random but to this day I regret not having sex with you on that atv on the top of that mountain underneath the American flag.
ps I'm eating candy off our sex sheets. gotta say the only thing better than sweet tarts is sweet tarts with a hint of sex. perfect post vday situation
Guys with values who care about your personality don't cum on your back the 2nd time they you sleep with you.
I told my doctor about us having twin chlamydia
Its almost 1 am and u wanna get together and cry naked
Jesus I was next level high last night having a mental epiphany about the state of Virginia
I wish I may, I wish I might, get some daddy dick tonight
My drunk ass is being chauffeured around like the damn queen of England
Randomize
