I just saw a girl play flip cup with only her tongue
I'm in love
Things he has used as lube on me: olive oil, cologne, purell, spit, tanning oil, and bottled hotel lotion
He needs to save up for some actual ky before my vagina gets an allergic reaction
I was thinking about baking his mom "sorry you found out i was sleeping with your son" cupcakes
This kid is drunk.
I hope by "this kid" you mean yourself and not some child you have kidnapped and gotten wasted.
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I just won't go as hard tonight. Four dollar ladies night drink or drown is not a good idea for me. I like to get my money's worth.
All she was asking was for you to describe your coat so she could get it, but you kept yelling at her so the security threw you out.
I'M NOT READY TO BE AB ADULT YET!!!
I moved out... There's nothing left but his childhood trophies...
You should make him a new one, you know like "you suck at relationships but thanks for trying participation award"
I really like your cover photo on fb that looks cool
In case birth mom friends me back, thought I should make it less drunk looking.
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I can't remember if I puked before or after the shots of absinthe. Or why I thought shots of absinthe was a good idea.
She said I'm like warm bathroom-sink water. There's nothing necessarily wrong with me, but she doesn't exactly want to "drink me in"
I went to Walmart last night to buy some CDs--which is a sentence I never thought I'd say in 2016.
I someohow managed to lose my butt plug in tne midst of moving to B.C. and I am not a happy camper.
I was amazing, unlike anything he's ever experienced. I somehow made him feel young and old.and he never felt old before. He feels I will literally kill him. With my magic, lethal vagina.
It took me longer to jump start my car and get to his house than the fucking actually took.....
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