Skanksgiving break is awesome already... pilgrim and indian roleplay tonight.
The doctor put me on 3000 mg of amoxicillin a day. Which, for a sinus infection, seems pretty excessive to me.
Maybe he was just trying to knock out any potential ghonorrhea you might be carrying around.
Ah, my reputation precedes me.
Even DaVinci knew it was gay to draw the penis big. Thanks art history
He looked at my vag and said "you have a nice situation down there. Good work"
I think winning the long island race means you lose at life
He's asking if he can send a dick pic. How do I politely decline that?
Promise me, at my funeral, you will re-enact our human sledding incident of 2011....you can use my dead body as said sled.
Ahh good point. I got some interesting mental pics and I'm slowly entering a "fuck it, lets do weird shit" phase sexually, but you may have already figured that out since I've been fucking you sideways and upside down a lot lately.
I have a pair of clean panties in my purse. This is having your life together.
The old guy next door tried to get me to go to his apartment for shots formoonshine. =-0
If that weren't so sketchy I would encourage it
Yeah it was almost as sketchy as a white panel van pulling up offering candy
I'm finally in my bed, my pants are off, and there's no pee on my carpet this is the best life has been all day
Could you just like have a friend who feels bad for me and secretly always wanted to have sex with me
Well, i'm not hugging a bag of cheetos and crying while I watch Friends wishing that we were Ross and Rachel. So clearly I'might doing better than last night.
Sundays were made for eating Ramen pantless in bed.
Pro: 2020 made it easier to hook up with strippers
Con: explaining to Kari why there’s always strippers at our house
Pro: there’s always strippers at our house
Randomize
