I just had unprotected sex with a stranger. but i did him wearing nothing but my pearls. so its classy.
bathroom sex at kohls isnt as trashy as it seems
I wish I had my own personal Asian lady that lived under my bed so that she could wax my eyebrows and give me a pedicure whenever I wanted.
I'm ready for this little girl to leave so I can hit the bong already
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
thanks for carrying me to bed.. and sorry for trying to roll down the hallway to escape.
Thank God I did Vegas bombs with those cops at their Christmas party. We should so be in jail.
my tonsil wound opened up during the kegstand but i stopped it with a popsicle
Sometimes you just need a break, and sometimes you also need to get stoned on these breaks. I sound like some kind of fucked up mr rogers when I say shit like that.
She's the worst person, but the best naked person
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think my vagina is phsycic. All day it tingled and then BAM Channing Tatums look alike fucks me like ive never been fucked in my life.
I want to bone him until his eyes fall out
the guy working the counter at the liquor store noticed i got my haircut and said it was pretty.....
I finished my first whiskey and I'm waiting to have a second one in celebration when your pregnancy test comes back negative
you said it was a life or death situation, being your partner for beer pong doesn't count
You are currently doing Harry Potter spells with the turkey-baster...
Randomize