pretty sure i remember announcing that i lost my virginity to that brad paisley song when it came on during power hour?
i took an adderall last night to write a paper. i ended up watching 7 hours of roseanne and couldn't look away
I think i accidentally made vodka pancakes
if I want to go home with a foreign boy, please feel free to let me go, sober me gives you permission to let drunken me do it
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I am only moving my arms so I remember that I can. These brownies are wild.
No I'm not coming over. That Bob Ross drinking game is too intense.
1 in 5 deaths i nrussia is alcohol related. GO MOTHERLAND
my parents decided to start a new christmas tradition. we will now be drinking champagne while opening presents, and we each get our own bottle
It feels like there's puke trying to explode out of me from behind my eyeballs.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He was having this drunk emotional breakdown and I was just trying to cheer him up but instead fell and dumped the whole pickle jar on me
It was cool though because he was fine afterwards and somehow I convinced them I did it on purpose...
Don't forget to make sex 3rd on your calander
I just watched an old episode of Daria while eating brownies to cure day drunkness. Clearly I'm winning at adulting today.
We're friends with benifits... The benifits being I'm fucking her boyfriend
Yea I went out in footie pajamas and still got laid. Good night for u?
Fine I’ll come with you but you better tell that guy to wear some longer shorts because the second I see a rogue nut I’m gone
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