fml, blew my nose and red sprinkles came out and did the splits when i sneezed
And my dad told him he was a great looking guy. and then added "no homo" after.
Can you really blame Steve Phillips? He went to Michigan. Plowing fat girls is a 100-level course there.
3 inches of snow, below zero windchill and i just saw a dude in a wrangler with no doors, shorts a beanie and burton snow goggles. God i love college in colorado
Just pulled an upper-decker at a hardware store. I believe I'm winning 8-2. It's obvious you don't shit enough in public.
Disregard that. She just puked into her boot and started screaming.
I am literally missing a chunk of eyelashes. That's how fun it was.
Are we responsible for the snowmen doing it doggy-style in my front yard?
She gave us all a pep talk at the bus stop at 1 AM. It involved cupcakes and somehow ended with her making out with her best friend. God bless college.
Because of him my new motto is "Keep calm and fuck a guy with a beard". Yes, I am serious.
Walk of shame: Easter Edition. He is risen.
I slept with a Brazillian Man, That's why I'm Watching The World Cup
I mean, don't most people have like a two week grace period where it's okay to ditch new friends?
My neighbour just came round to ask why we posted a spatula through his door at 3am. What do I tell him??
I'm too horny to sleep. I need some violent sex to wind me down.
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